Monday, September 14, 2009

The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same...





Jeff and I have been married - again- for 1 month and about 2 weeks. He is still the one who knows, feels and senses me the best. He is my devine connection manifested by God. He is the ONE. And I have to admit always has been...


We did talk to The Jones's about the boys... And all of a sudden it was like the whole ordeal never happened... After manys weeks, I realize that, for now it may be the best thing for Jeff and I to step back and allow them to marinate on what happened and survey what is really best for them and the boys.


Mrs. Jones admitted that she is a little jealous of how much the boys, especially Brandon loves being with us. I am so confused and a bit hurt that that is the real reason she refuses to let the boys go. I will let God handle this...


But then again, if the boys were here now, maybe some of the amazing things that are happening in my children's lives would not be so effortless. Brittany has met her birth father and she is free to have this experience w/o having to feel guilty about her brother Brandon not knowing who his dad is. Sad situation... And it takes a great deal of courage on Jeff and my part to allow this relationship to be investigated. I know Mr. & Mrs. Jones would hit the ceiling!


So all I can say is... "Its In Your Hands My Father.... AMEN!"

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD...

Well, Jeff and I said our vows on Saturday - August 1st @ 3:30pm. It was simple, sweet and to the point.. just the way we wanted it. The boys were there with Mr. and Mrs. Jones. Unfortunately it was far to busy to talk about the future with the boys. And they left early bc they were tired after the previous days travels with the church. Brittany was so upset to see the boys go. And strangely enough everyone kept asking about the boys and them potentially coming to live with us. Hum, is this message from above? Is he moving in our lives? Are the Jones listening too? This remains to be be seen. Stay tuned...

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

3 AM INSOMNIAC...


UP AT 3AM... So what in the world do 3 o'clock in the morning insomniacs have to offer? Perhaps streaming thoughts of consciousness? Definitely so! Whats on this insomniacs brain?

Strangely enough, not her fast approaching nuptials this Saturday. MORESO, the future and what it holds for my hubby and I. Well not just he and I, but our children.

Hum, to adopt or not to adopt? That has been the QnA in the past. And I did. But now there lies the question of was it the smartest thing? YES! It was.. I dare not think what my life would be without my children. But in doing so, a family was split... And the question now is how to mend. Adopt or not to adopt... Is still the question...

"My mind keeps telling me NOOOOOOOOO, But my body, my body... keeps tellling me YEEESSSSSSS! I don't see nothing wronnnnnnggggg...."

Bring this broken family back together will heal some wounds and give me some peace of mind. But is it the COMPLETE and TOTAL answer. For now, I say yes... But I am scared.

FAITH is the answer... TRUST is essential... and PRAY is the key... So here it goes..

"Dear Father, I come to you with an open heart and a seeking mind. I am asking that you provide resolution to my trouble heart where my children... your children entrusted to me... lies. I am asking that you open the hearts and minds of The Jones (more on this later) and allow them to see the benefit of the boys coming to us. And if this be not your will Lord, please provide my babies with peace of mind and determination and insight to do what is right in this and all situations that impact their lives. This I ask in Jesus name.. AMEN!"

Good morning/Good night
BABS